Friday, June 30, 2006

JOOB Meets Daddy's Rabbit

Probably one of the best things about having a child is having someone to pass your treasures onto, such as a beloved toy rabbit.

Celebration!

bdaycake-3month

JOOB is three-months old today.

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 20

Prediction:

    Germany to be beaten by Argentina 1-2
    Italy to beat Ukraine 1-0

Coach

So Worsfold has been reappointed for another three years as weagles coach. I'm going to make a bold prediction: Worsfold will one day end up coaching Fremantle. It probably won't happen any time soon, but he'll do it before he retires. Remember, you heard it here first.

Bubbles

Bubbles

I actually took this several days ago. It is the fountain on the southern side of St Martin's tower. It looks like someone had added some bubble bath. The wind was whipping up chunks of foam and sending it into the pedestrians on St George's Terrace. Hilarity ensued.
Tags:

Finally

OurSave

They've arrived.

Disturbing

While most comments to the SCOTUS ruling by right-wing bloggers has been decidedly moderate and reasoned there were quite a few that expressed similar thoughts to these:

Since the constitution says that treaty making is under the jurisdiction of the President and Congress, the President can sign an executive order stating that since the court has overstepped its bounds, we will ignore the ruling.
--Comment by Marty @ GOPBloggers
Wish they flown a plane into SCOTUS instead of the Pentagon on 9/11.
-- Comment by SicSemperTyrannus @ Carol Platt Liebau

TAKE NO PRISONERS
.
-- Comment by shooter @ Hot Air

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Sex, Drugs, And Rock & Roll... Today

Times have certainly changed. This is what life as a rocker means nowadays: Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll.

Signs and Portents

PerthNow

The folks at PerthNow have ramped up the advertising and have begun distributing handouts. We picked up this one while passing through Perth Train station.
ArtOrGraff2
ArtOrGraff1

Is this art or just graffiti? Seen on the OLD McDonald's building EAST (away from the mall) of Cinema City.
Beard

And this is just weird. It's on the traffic light just outside the NEW McDonald's WEST (towards the mall) of Cinema City.

JOOB Discovers Public Art

JOOB-publicArt

JOOB Stands

JOOB-Stand

From about week three JOOB has been able to support his own weight on his legs. We would prop him up in standing position and watch as he wobbled about in his attempts to stand. I honestly don't know what we were trying to achieve, but it seems to have worked. Today, just for a few seconds JOOB stood by himself without support and only holding his mother's hands for resassurance. This kid is progressing rapidly. It's making my head spin.

Uh-oh!

ProtoCrawl

This photo was taken yesterday. A split second later JOOB lifted his head and raised his butt into the crawl position. But it only lasted a fraction of a second - hence no photo.

Today I hear TP cry:
JOOB. JOOB! Don't do that!
At one day shy of 3 months old he has begun to crawl.

Fuck!

Think You're a Socceroos Fan?

You're nothing compared to this guy in Thailand that died for our boys.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

QOTD

History is against us. So are the fuckin' refs.

He Turns! He Rolls!

JOOB rolled over!

He was on his tummy, then slowly but surely, he rolled over onto his right side, teetered precariously for a minute or so, then gently continued onto his back. And we're fairly certain he meant to do it.

Then he started bawling because he was as stuck as a turtle on his back and didn't know what to do. We sympathised with his plight by laughing uproariously.

Now that it looks like he's figured out turning, life can only get more exciting. Uh-oh.

World Cup: Whither Now My Heart?

Right, now that we've recovered from the Socceroos' shock exit from World Cup 2006, it's time to face the big question: who do we barrack for now?

There's supposed to be some tradition of backing the nation that beats you. Feh. Reeks too much of "to the conquerer go the spoils". I like Italy, but Italy hasn't earned my vote.

Then there're those who think we should back England, but it feels more like we'd be running back to dear Old Mother England, and I'm a republican. Besides, the Swedes have a stronger claim for backing England - coach Erikkson - but Australia hasn't a similar option in any of the other teams still competing.

Personally, I'll just have to go with my club favourite - Arsenal, otherwise known for purposes of the World Cup as France.

Henry! Henry! Henry! Oui! Oui! Oui!

Ruminations

It's just over twenty-four hours since Australia crashed out of World Cup 2006 and I have to say that I'm feeling pretty good about it all. The hopeless romantic in me believed that we could have gone all the way. That after all the years of bullshit we've been put through we could have given the establishment the finger. The reality is that without a quality striker at least as good as Kewell, without gout and with the ability to use his primary leg, we were always heading home sooner or later. To win you have to score goals and we've always had serious trouble doing that against quality sides.

But lets be honest here, for an Aussie this is about as good as it gets. Our entire psyche is swept up in being screwed by officialdom. Everything from our convict origins, to Eureka, to Ned Kelly, Gallipoli and even Vietnam. This just adds to the dramas Australia and Australian football has been through. Our nation was built on defeat and setback. It's what makes us so great. Time and time again we've bounced back wiser, stronger and better. This time will be no different. In fact it will be the foundation from which we launch our first successful bid for the cup. And we can always say that if we hadn't been screwed by the ref we would have gone all the way.

I do feel for the current crop of players. Especially the likes of Viduka and Kewell. They're unlikely to grace the World Cup finals again. They've been the backbone of a potentially great, but under-achieving side. I firmly believe that had Lowy's grassroots revolution occurred in 1993 rather than in 2003 they could have gone all the way. In fact in 2006 they might have been defending champions. Unfortunately, they have been repeatedly screwed and under-resourced. We've never seen the best of them and now we never will. What we did see was pretty damn impressive.

Go you Socceroos!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 19

Prediction:

    Brazil to just defeat Ghana 1-0
    Spain to breeze past France 2-0

Perth Winter Sunset

PerthWinterSunset

The view from my backyard. And people wonder why I don't want to leave.
Tags:

You're going to do what?

JOOB-Resus

We went to an infant resuscitation class today - part of KEMH's parents' group. Being senior first aiders there wasn't a lot that we didn't already know, but it seems that JOOB was surprised by some of the information.

Italian Football Training Camp


Aftermath

I'm going to say something blasphemous: we didn't deserve to win. This is the world cup. Nobody deserves anything. We had our chances. We didn't take them. Italy didn't take theirs either. They got lucky. Favoured by a poor referee decision. They won. We lost. That's football. End of story.

Am I proud of the lads? Fuck oath I am. They're our best ever. They've outplayed every team they've come against. With the exception of one key area: the score. We need more capable strikers. Our strikers are good, they're just not great and that's what we need at WC level. At least three as good as Kewell at the height of his game. The inability to find position and score during the run of play has been an Australian football flaw for a very long time. It's something we need to work now. It may take another 20 years to find the ones we need. But the journey to South Africa 2010 and beyond starts today.

Look ever forward.

PS: At least one good thing to come of this is that we’ll no longer hear the Italians whining about the ref losing them the South Korea game at WC2002.

World Cup Italy-Australia: Aftermath

JOOB-WC2006

JOOB appears to have enjoyed last night's outing to Rosie O'Grady's - watched the end of the first half and seemed as excited as everyone else, then got hungry, and thankfully slept through the disappointing conclusion.

What's left to say? The Socceroos made the Azzuris work damned hard, but in the end, couldn't capitalise on their numbers advantage, and just could not get that ball into the net. And then there was the refereeing... It happens.

The important thing is that we got there, we took the rest of the Australia on this amazing ride, and next World Cup we'll do it all again and more. Go Socceroos!

Meanwhile, JOOB is sleeping off his big night out (good baby!) unlike his parents (more coffee!). Hope we'll all be in shape for this afternoon's class on baby resuscitation.

Monday, June 26, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 18

Prediction:

    Australia to defeat Italy 3-0
    Switzerland to defeat Ukraine 1-0

Lets hope

Lets hope that we get a good ref tonight.
Lets hope that we win against Italy.
And lets hope that if Bresciano or Grella score the winning goal that the Parma owner isn't as petulant as the owner of Perugia after Italy was eliminated in 2002.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 17

Prediction:

    England to beat Ecuador 2-0
    Portugal to beat Netherlands on penalties 2-2 (aet)

Australia v Italy Meetup

We'll be at Rosie O'Grady's Northbridge from around 9pm tomorrow night. If you're interested in joining us please do. Leave a comment or just drop by and look for JOOB.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

"Hello" To The Magical Land of Sleep-Dep

When you're getting by on scattered sleep, your level of consciousness becomes largely a matter of negotiation.

So it's taken me this long to sort out what I dreamt from what I remembered about yesterday morning. Early yesterday morning.

JOOB woke me about 3:45 for a feed, which, as near as I could figure out in a half-sleep, meant I could catch the end of the Croatia match, so I put the TV on (with the sound off) and saw, to my horror, that at the 75 minute mark, Australia was down 1-0. I turned the TV off, finished feeding JOOB, and went back to bed, hoping we'd come back in the last few mintes and equalise. Instead, I woke up next morning to the news that Croatia had beaten us 2-0. Nuts.

Then I was awakened again by the muffled cheering which indicated that somewhere out there in the night, people who'd watch the game in its entirety were celebrating. Bloody Croatians, I muttered to myself and went back to sleep.

When JOOB refused to settle after his next feed, I decided to stay out in the lounge with him. After an hour attempting to persuade him to go to sleep, I was desperately tired and unhappy. Between our World Cup loss and JOOB's ever-changing feeding demands, it'd been a hell of a lousy night.

And then JOOB gazed up at me with his big bright eyes and said, very clearly, "Hello".

Well, that woke me up. Of course, JOOB didn't say an intelligle word after, but it didn't matter. Australia may have lost, but my 11-week-old son spoke to me.

Needless to say, when Skribe woke me later to say we'd drawn with Croatia and were through to the second round, I was more than a little confused.

It would seem being in a permanent fog of sleep-deprivation leads me to interpret what I see and hear "differently", or else the events of early yesterday morning took place in an alternate reality - one where Australia lost but JOOB spoke.

Never mind. I may have remembered it "wrong", but it's still a sweet memory to have - JOOB's first word - "Hello".

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 16

Prediction:

    Germany to get done by Sweden 2-3
    Argentina to pummel Mexico 3-0

Friday, June 23, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 15

Prediction:

    Saudi Arabia to go down to Spain 0-3
    Ukraine to go down to Tunisia 0-1
    Togo to go down to France 0-2
    Switzerland to beat South Korea 1-0

Mandatory?

Fishtail

The Tongue

TheTongue

Eleven Weeks After: Racing Against Himself

We knew JOOB was ahead on some of his motor development skills when, at the baby maasage class a couple of weeks ago, the other babies (some his age, some older) just lay on their tummies, but JOOB was lifting his head up all by himself.

"Well, aren't you strong?" exclaimed the midwife, and as JOOB peered round the room with great curiosity, "And aren't you sociable?"

You betcha. JOOB's unquenchable curiosity about his world is what has been driving his development.

From 3-4 weeks, he'd been capable of supporting his own weight when held standing.

At 5 weeks, he was regularly holding his head up unsupported.

At 5-6 weeks, he'd begun sucking on his own hand.

By 8 weeks, he was experimenting with consonants.

At 9-10 weeks, he was reaching for and grasping objects.

But there is one simple activity that has so far eluded JOOB's ability: blinking.

Right from Day 1, JOOB has fixed his unblinking gaze upon an incomprehensible and endlessly fascinating world with an intensity that is often startling to behold.

And if you're any of the unfortunate parents who've sat next to me at the mothers' group meetings, you know what it's like to be the subject of one of JOOB's stares.

"Oh, he's so alert," one of the mothers said this week, as JOOB stared at her. Ten minutes later, JOOB was still staring at her. I caught her glancing sideways at him several times. I think JOOB's unwavering attention was beginning to unnerve her, as it has unnerved others.

It's as if JOOB doesn't want to miss a thing as he tries to understand his world. So he stares and he stares and he stares and doesn't blink. One of these days, he'll work out the blinking thing, but until then, he'll be our own little basilisk. Meanwhile, we may hace to run to keep up with his pace of development.



Just a reminder

The last time around, the easy games were China and Saudi Arabia. This time around you'd probably say Australia and Trinidad & Tobago are the weak ones.

Enjoy the flight home, Bruce.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Only half a birthday cake

Bdaycake

It's not a birthday cake unless you eat it on your birthday

Hookers coming to a corner near you!

Hooker-sign

Review: Second Life

SL-Chat

A few of my friends - blogging and otherwise - have been suggesting that I try Second Life. Second Life is kinda like a giant roleplaying game, except without a central theme. Or maybe it is just a giant virtual chat arena - think IRC or IM with graphics. Or maybe it's none of these. You see, that's part of its charm as well as part of its problems. It's all of these and none of them. You're free to do anything you want, but so is everyone else.

Let me just say that I have over twenty years experience in virtual environments. Starting with MUDs in the early 80s, then IRC, MUSHes, IM and FPS in the 90s and beyond. I've written code for MUDs. I've head-wizarded MUSHes. I've even been a server op for one of the larger IRC networks. So for me Second Life (SL) isn't a gee whiz new fangled idea. Perhaps if it was I would be more impressed. But I just see it as a further evolution of the same stuff we were playing with in the 80s.

You see it's just a chat program with 3D graphics. Oh sure it has some nifty add-ons like being able to design your own avatar (what you look like) and the ability to create and own various objects, land and buildings. But essentially it's the interface where SL falls down. All communication is still done through the keyboard (you type what you want your avatar to say). The inventory and object system is clunky and almost unusable. I found movement to be hampered by excessive lag. I kept walking into objects as a result. The only saving grace in this area is that you can fly.
SL-Fly

Apart from the fact that lag also affects flight, it was my preferred method for moving around up until I discovered the teleport button. You see, in SL not only can anyone fly they can also teleport to just about anywhere on the map. It kinda defeats the purpose of letting people fly or have vehicles. It would have been better to keep them limited and special.

I suppose one of the reasons that they didn't was because the SL world is huge. Planet sized. So there's lots of space to grow. Great! Except even with 5000+ people online you're lucky to find more than 20 in the same general locale. Even 20 is a stretch and most of them will be engaging in some sort of fetish activity.
SL-Sex

Us humans are a predictable lot. Sex is one of our motivating factors and we tend to seek it out even in a virtual environment. Back in the 90s it was quite common for entire MUSHes to be dedicated to virtual sex. SL has its fair share of it too. Within a couple of hours of joining I was propositioned 3 times.

Essentially SL lacks a purpose. In my experience most people just sat around chatting. There's gotta be a better reason to go there - and to pay for the privilege in some cases. In the film world we'd call it a strange attractor. If you're new to virtual environments or if you're still blown away by 3d graphics (that take minutes to fully render on broadband connection) then maybe SL has something for you. For me, it's all old hat. Just another stage in the development towards something resembling Stephenson's Metaverse.

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 14

Prediction:

    Italy to beat the Czech Republic 1-0
    Ghana to send the USA home 1-0
    Japan to be beaten by Brazil 0-3
    Croatia to go down to Australia 0-2

Speaking In Tongues

Skribe & JOOB learn to communicate. A dav worthy of commemoration.

Many happy returns, sweetie!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 13

Prediction:

    Portugal to defeat Mexico 1-0
    Iran to draw with Angola 0-0
    Netherlands to go down to Argentina 0-2
    Ivory Coast and Serbia and Montengro to draw 1-1

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Wok

Our life just got better. Not only do we have a darling (screaming) bundle of joy nicknamed JOOB we also now have a wok. The last wok we left in the cupboard of our previous residence simply because our current place has an electric stove. That was in the early nineties and we have been mostly wokless ever since. I say mostly because a few years ago TPs mum insisted that we needed a wok and so delivered an electric one. It lasted about one meal. But now we have a new one. A real one. One that requires seasoning. One that has a flat bottom - nobody told me that you can use them with electric stoves before. So now we can have real food again. Not pretend - fried in a frying pan - food. Yay!

Tags:

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 12

Prediction:

    Ecuador to beat Germany 2-1
    Costa Rica to beat Poland 1-0
    Sweden to go down to England 0-1
    Paraguay and Trinidad and Tobago to draw 1-1

Monday, June 19, 2006

Carrom

CW's post on mahjong over at Ruminations got me thinking about another game I hadn't played since childhood: carrom.

Back then, the family would gather at my grandfather's house on Sundays, and while the adults gossiped or went shopping, the kids would be left to amuse themselves. We didn't seem to watch much TV back then (partly because we're talking about Singapore TV in the 70s), and it's hard now to fathom how we whiled away those long hot afternoons without PCs or even handhelds.

All we had was a gravel yard with a steam-roller and a couple of bulldozers parked in a corner which we were forbidden from clambering around on (so of course we did), and a monster deck of cards compiled from half a dozen incomplete decks - perfect for Bluff.

And the carrom board kept behind the door to Third Auntie's room. Cousin Charles appointed himself instructor and arbiter over us younger ones. The talcum powder would be solemnly (and liberally) sprinkled across the board, the black and white disks arranged, and then we'd Oh-Pay-Som to see who would begin.

We weren't skilled, but we were enthusiastic, as we'd flick the striker as hard as we could to send the little disks caroming off the sides of the boards and into the pockets...

Haven't thought about this game in a long time. Don't seem to see it around much either, except occasionally near Freo market of in an Indian grocery shop. Will have to get a set one day. JOOB will love it.

In Other News...

I found it interesting that all the news (and everyone else) was talking about today was Australia's loss to Brazil. What is so amazing about this is that Leyton Hewitt won Queens, the forerunner tournament to Wimbleton, and Geoff Ogilvy broke a 25 year drought to win the US Open (Golf). Normally either of these would have been crowed about for the next few days, but everyone only seems to have eyes for the world cup. Too bloody right! I wonder if the other football codes are in a cold sweat.

Television Ratings Trivia:

    Rugby - 1st game Wallabies v England. Seen at prime time and drew just over 1 million viewers.

    Football - Australia v Japan. Late night and drew 2.7 million.
That's an awful lot of wogs and poofters.

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 11

Prediction:

    Togo to go down to Switzerland 0-1
    Saudi Arabia to be beaten by Ukraine 0-2
    Spain to trounce Tunisia 3-0

The End is Nigh

LordiChart
From the official Finnish music chart.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Driftwood Horses


When I glue twigs and other oddbits together, the results resemble nothing recognisably of this world. So I'm more than a little impressed with this artist. It's a strange sort of compliment when good art looks like it's been photoshopped.

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 10

Predictions:

    Japan to go down to Croatia 0-1
    Brazil to miraculously be beaten by Australia 0-1
    France to beat South Korea 2-0

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Ten Weeks After: Training the Baby

Readers, forgive me, it's been four days since my last post.

I have been attempting to wean JOOB out of night snacking in the hopes that he will learn to sleep through most of the night (and so, consequently, will I).

This means that instead of struggling out of bed to feed JOOB at the first grizzle, I let him grumble a while, and if he doesn't let up, then I struggle out of bed and attempt to soothe him back to sleep anyway I can. And if sleep seems unlikely, then I feed him. Then put him back to bed. On no account do I change him (unless it's an emergency), because nappy-changing will wake him, and we do not want that.

Sounds fairly straightforward.

However, in practice, it means I still struggle out of bed at every grizzle, only now I'm patting and soothing and singing and shushing... and then I'm struggling out of bed to repeat dance steps above and then feed the little bugger. So, not a lot of sleep for one of us.

Unfortunately, I also began the new training regime the same nght the cat decided to have spiteful diarrhoea. Yippee.

The good news is, JOOB appears to be sleeping a little longer before he demands his first night feed. So I'm sticking with the new regime, even if it kills me :) And yes, the cat's been fine ever since.

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 9

Prediction:

    Portugal to thrash Iran 4-0
    Italy to send the USA home as the worse team 3-0
    Czech Republic to demolish Ghana 4-0

Friday, June 16, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 8

Prediction:

    Argentina to beat Serbia and Montenegro 2-0
    Netherlands to beat Ivory Coast 3-0
    Mexico to go down to Angola 0-1

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Toilet Tales

BlooToilet

The popular theory is that the reason that many public toilets have violet lighting is to prevent junkies from finding their veins, thereby preventing them from shooting up, thereby preventing them from carking it due to an overdose. Let me put forward an alternate theory.

This is the Men's toilet at KFC South Perth. Look at the sink. Notice anything missing? No fucking taps! Some numbnut believes that the 0.01% of users that leave the water running are more important than the other 99.9% of us that don't. So they've installed an automatic washer system. Put your hands under the faucet and a sensor triggers great gushes of water to clean and refresh. Great, except for two minor points:
  1. The water is FUCKING FREEZING COLD!!! Somebody skimped and didn't choose the lukewarm water option.
  2. So is the fucking blow dryer! The water is probably only at freezing point but the wind chill factor using the dryer drops that by another 20C. BTW there are no paper towels, just icy cold gales.
So this is my theory. The lights are violet so you don't see that your now numb and useless hands are now blue and lifeless.

Way to go KFC.

For Sale

SwanBellsSale
Seems the Swan Bells are up for sale.

JOOB's first ferry ride

JOOB-Ferry
He doesn't look very impressed.

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 7

Prediction:

    Ecuador to beat Costa Rica 3-0
    England to beat Trinidad and Tobago 2-0
    Sweden to draw with Paraguay 1-1

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 6

Prediction:

    Spain to beat Ukraine 2-1.
    Tunisia to draw with Saudi Arabia 1-1.
    Germany to thrash Poland 4-0.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

...spelling on the other hand

weprinwell

World Cup Drinking Games

Or, if you don't drink, World Cup Punch-Someone-In-The-Arm Games:

  • One hit for every time a journalist mentions "32 years"
  • One hit for every ad that shows a football during a single commercial break
  • One hit for every replay of Tim Cahill's or John Aloisi's goals
  • One hit for every time The Great Johhny Warren is invoked
  • One hit for every TV host, celeb, and politician sporting Socceroos gear and/or attempting to explain the game.

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 5

Prediction:

    South Korea to defeat Togo 1-0
    France to thrash Switzerland 4-0
    Brazil to defeat Croata 2-1

Nintendo Monopoly




Nintendo Monopoly.

The Monopoly Edition of Super Mario Bros or Donkey Kong can't be far behind.

POING! Go Directly To Jail! POING! POING! POING!

QOTD

The world and his wife enjoy the Olympics but the world, the cook, the thief, his wife and her lover are totally consumed by the World Cup.
-- Nicky Campbell

Monday, June 12, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 4

Prediction:

    Australia to beat Japan 3-0
    USA to draw with Czech Republic 1-1
    Italy to beat Ghana 3-1
Result:
    Australia: 3 - Japan: 1
    USA: 0 - Czech Republic: 3
    Italy: 2 - Ghana: 0
Summary:
Oh, what a night! We were gone for all money, despite playing far better than the Asian Champions. Then...WOW! 8 magical minutes. The Czechs were given far too much space by the yanks who should have punished them more. The US (and Japan) can start packing now. Wasted opportunities cost Ghana, but Italy put in a solid - but uninspiring - performance to withstand them. Typical Italy for the group stage.

I ain't flyin' in no plane

It should be noted that the Department of Immigration have incarcarated 26 Australian citizens over the past decade. Of these they have named only three: Vivian Alvarez Solon; Cornelia Rau and a man known only as Mr T. All efforts to deport him proved unsuccessful.

QOTD

The game has just turned around 360 degrees.
-- US World Cup Commentator

The Laugh

Laugh1
Laugh2
Laugh3

What Not To Name Your Dog

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Spot" I made the mistake of calling mine "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too!" Then I said, "But this is for a dog." He said, "I don't care what she looks like." Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. Not wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a dog show, before the competition began, another contestant asked me what I was doing. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the show. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. When I asked if the show was televised he called me a pervert.

I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him up I said, "I've come for my dog." She said, "Which one, Spot or Rover?" I said, "What about Sex?" She slapped me. After I straightened out the misunderstanding, I asked if Sex was good for her. She slapped me again.

Sex ran away, I went to the dog pound. As I was looking in all the cages the operator came up to me. I said I'm looking for Sex. He said I was looking in all the wrong places.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." He said, "What's your point, so did I." I said, "But my wife wants to take Sex away." He said, "That's what happens in a divorce."

Last night Sex ran off. I spent hours looking for him all over town. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said I was looking for Sex.

My case comes up Friday.

Death by PR

You know that the yanks are getting seriously desperate when they describe the recent suicides at Gitmo as a good PR for the jihadi cause. Of course to presume that you'd have to accept that the 400+ detainees at Gitmo are Jihadi's and not poor sods grabbed and sold off to the yanks by the Northern Alliance. But remember in the war of terrorism you're guilty until proven innocent.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 3

Prediction:

    Serbia & Montenegro to go down to the Netherlands 1-2.
    Mexico to drawn with Iran 2-2.
    Angola to go down to Portugal 0-3.
Results:
    Serbia & Montenegro: 0 - Netherlands: 1
    Mexico: 3 - Iran: 1
    Angola: 0 - Portugal: 1
Summary:
A powerhouse display by the Dutch with a great goal by Robben, who should have had a couple more. Iran began well but wasted chances and in the end silly mistakes cost them as they were ground down by Mexico. Disappointing Portugal couldn't repeat the scorelines from their previous encounters with the Angolans (6:0 & 5:1) but a solid performance probably aimed at reserving their energies for the next round and beyond.

9 Weeks After: Or, Not Being A Bad Parent, Really

Once upon a time, not that long ago, skribe and I would see someone apparently ignoring their crying baby or screaming toddler, and we'd tsk to ourselves: "Bad Parent".

Not any more.

Now that we have a little one of our own, we realise what little brats babies really are, and that sometimes, all too often, you have no options left but to put up with the screaming and crying until the little bugger wears himself out.

And all the different types of crying! Such range of expression, such depth of feeling! There's the hungry cry and the want-to-poop cry and the I-don't-want-to-be-on-my-tummy-anymore cry and many, many more.

Our favourite is the I-need-to-sleep cry. That's when JOOB is so over-stimulated by all the fun and excitement that he can't deal with it anymore. He's exhausted, he's cranky, and he's bewildered. He cries for the breast but he's too upset to feed. He wants to sleep, but he's too stressed to nod off. So he cries. And he screams. And he kicks and punches and yells. The tears are streaking down his cheeks. He's breaking your heart and your ear-drums.

And there's not a lot you can do except keep trying to soothe and settle him enough that he allows himself to fall asleep eventually. Sometimes you can distract him with a nappy change. Remember, the trick is to distract him without stimulating him further. Generally, you just have to take it in turns - walking and rocking, patting and shushing.

You're frustrated by your ineffectiveness, you're fatigued from lack of sleep, and you're frazzled by the endless crying. It's easy to just walk away and forget the whole thing. Note: You're only a bad parent when you keep on walking away.

Thank goodness I've got the fabulous Skribe to tag-team with. Bewteen the two of us, we can take on any amount of crying JOOB chucks at us, I hope.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

QOTD

How can they have an entire floor dedicated to makeup?
-- kid in Myers, Perth

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 2

Prediction:

    England over Paraguay 1-0.
    Trinidad and Tobago to go down to Sweden 0-8.
    Argentina over Ivory Coast 2-0.
Result:
    England: 1 - Paraguay: 0
    Trinidad and Tobago: 0 - Sweden: 0
    Argentina: 2 - Ivory Coast: 1
Summary:
Despite England's victory it was a disappointing performance and came as a result of a disputed own goal by the Paraguyan captain. T&T's dogged resistance against the constant Swedish attacks showed true heart. A great demonstration of what a minnow can achieve. Still I don't expect them to achieve much more. Argentina steam rolled Ivory Coast as expected. I'm a little surprised that IC managed to score however.

World Cup Trivia: Russia To Win

from the BBC

According to a recent poll, 6% of Russians are confident they will win the World Cup - even though they did not qualify.
Of the 1,600 people quizzed, Russia came just behind favourites Brazil, who got 10% of the vote, while 75% went for the "hard to say" option.
"Hard to say"? Boy, I'd like to hear what the remaining 9% thought...

GoogleFight World Cup - Group G Results

Before the tournament this was considered one of the easiest groups to predict who would finish top with the 1998 champions up against the 2002 semi-finalist; Switzerland and Togo, in their first cup final.

France dominated their first game absolutely wasting Switzerland. South Korea soundly defeated Togo in their first game of the tournament but were stopped in their tracks when they came up against France in their second game. Switzerland humbled Togo in the next game and it only got worse for the Africans as they were destroyed by France, who won all three games and - as predicted - finished top of the group. It came down to the last game in the group to decide who would join them with Switzerland narrowly defeating South Korea to go through.

So it's the two Europeans moving into the next round and the Asian and Africans heading home. It looks like the South Korean miracle of 2002 was just a fluke.

Results:


Friday, June 09, 2006

FIFA World Cup 2006 - Day 1

Prediction:

    Germany over Costa Rica 2-1.
    Poland to beat Ecuador 2-0.
Result:
    Germany: 4 - Costa Rica: 2
    Poland: 0 - Ecuador: 2
Summary:
Both Germany and Costa Rica scored twice as often as I predicted but the end result was spot on. As for the Poland-Ecuador game I got the scoreline right just the wrong team =). A big upset by the Ecuadorians. They finally managed to win away from home. Poland should start packing their bags now.

GoogleFight World Cup - Group B Results

This group was considered to be tough with two of the powerhouses of Europe up against the South American fourth-place qualifier and Trinidad and Tobago, qualifying for their first cup final.

England began well with a strong start against Paraguay in a result that would become even more significant at the end of the round. Sweden too began with a trouncing of lowly Trinidad and Tobago. The woes continued for the team from the Carribean as it was again thoroughly outclassed by the English in the very next game. Sweden and Paraguay fought a tough battle with the Swedish team victorious. Then came the surprise of the round with Sweden and England drawing. The end of the round saw a victory for the South Americans, their solitary one for the tournament.

At the end of the round both England and Sweden are on equal points but England goes through as the top qualifier on goal difference. Meanwhile the two American teams head home after a disappointing showing.

Results:


Infusion

Infusion1
Infusion2
I forgot to mention this a few days ago. My favourite coffee place, Infusion in Plaza Arcade, have just remodelled. If you haven't already, check them out and try their new invention, the Chocolate Ball Man, which I must say I thoroughly tested during its beta phase. It gets the skribe tick of approval =).

Onedogflower

Onedogsaid flower
Okay, this is just to prove how big One Dog Said is. This is the flower after 15 minutes. At the time of me writing this the programme has been running for 20 minutes and it is still growing.

Addendum: I gave up after 23 minutes.

Tis perty tho.

What do the colors mean?
blue: for links (the A tag)
red: for tables (TABLE, TR and TD tags)
green: for the DIV tag
violet: for images (the IMG tag)
yellow: for forms (FORM, INPUT, TEXTAREA, SELECT and OPTION tags)
orange: for linebreaks and blockquotes (BR, P, and BLOCKQUOTE tags)
black: the HTML tag, the root node
gray: all other tags

Want one of your site? Go to Websites as Graphs!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

How not to steal a sidekick

You find the latest high-tech cellphone in the back of a cab. Do you return it? Or do you keep it? One family is quickly learning that the price for keeping the phone is much higher than they expected.

A Long Way to Go

While the Coalition of the Willing is chortling with glee over the apparent death of Al-Zarqawi - still to be confirmed- it needs to be noted that 50 people were kidnapped at bus stations in central Baghdad today. The unpleasantness in Iraq has a long way to go before it reaches a conclusion. I bet those 50 people are glad we liberated them.

For further details.

Seniors Smartrider Trial (Old Dear, Old Dear)

The bus I was on stopped to pick up a little old lady.

Except she didn't actually want to go anywhere. But she did want the bus.

'see, she'd forgotten to tag off her Smartrider when she alighted from her bus, and she was afraid of incurring the full default fare as a result. So she'd waited at the bus stop for the next bus to come along so she could tag off.

Only it either didn't work, or she had tagged off before and not realised it, and as a result had tagged on again on my bus.

The driver explained that if she tagged off within a couple of minutes of tagging on, no fare would be deducted from her card. In other words, ma'am, tag off now.

"It's all terribly complicated," the old dear complained as she left, without tagging off her Smartrider.

Boy, I can't wait to see what happens when they get rid of the zone system and charge fares based on actual distance travelled. It'll be the Great Decimal Currency Conversion all over again.

GoogleFight World Cup - Group A Results

This group featured the tournament hosts, Poland and two minnows from the American continents.

As was to be expected the hosts completely dominated the opening game thrashing Costa Rica. Poland began well with a decisive victory over Ecuador, but were stopped conclusively in the next game by the German juggernaut. Ecuador and Costa Rica then produced the first drawn game of the tournament. With Germany destroying Ecuador that left Costa Rica having to defeat Poland to go through, however they were thoroughly outclassed by the Europeans.

Germany and Poland go through to the round of sixteen, while Costa Rica and Ecuador head home to dream of what might have been.

Results:


Wednesday, June 07, 2006

QOTD

The Prime Minister had dinner with George W. Bush and came back convinced that same sex marriages were dangerous, but nuclear power was safe.
-- Senator Bob Brown

Head's Up

JOOB-headup

We've been trying to get this picture for the last few days. On his front with his head up. Not bad for 8 weeks and 5 days old.

We all spent the morning at the parent group learning baby massage - which is exactly like adult massage except with olive oil (go figga). JOOB was on his tummy - along with all the other bubs - when he does the head raise. The head raise that up until now we've never photographed clearly. The Child Health Care Nurse was amazed. Go JOOB!

GoogleFight World Cup - Group E Results

Considered to be one of the groups of death with two of the European powerhouses up against the CONCACAF champion and Ghana.

The first game went as expected with Italy easily defeating a disappointing Ghana. The next game brought an enormous surprise with the USA thrashing the Czech Republic and thereby bringing up the first of their three wins in this round. It then came down to Italy or the Czechs as to who would go through with them into the second round with the Italians defeating the Czechs soundly in the penultimate game for this group. So the USA and Italians go through and the Czechs and Ghanaians head home for some soul-searching.

Results:


Tuesday, June 06, 2006

GoogleFight World Cup - Group F Results

This group featured the world champion up against the Asian and Oceanian champions as well as Croatia.

Everyone was expecting Brazil to make it through easily with one of the other three joining them in the round of sixteen. However, in a surprise Brazil was eliminated winning only one of its games - against Croatia. It was Japan that proved the group powerhouse beating all three of its opponents albeit only just defeating Australia in the dying moments. Australia too progressed to the second round with big victories over both Brazil and Croatia. Croatia proved to be a major diappointment and it is hard at this point seeing them making it through to the 2010 World Cup.

Results:


06/06/06

Did the world end today? Yes / No / Play Again

You realise the only reason the Omen remake got greenlit was so they could release the film today.

How To Age With Style

I want one :)

Monday, June 05, 2006

More blackouts pending?

Generator
I noticed this while journeying past the local fast food restaurants. Think they know something we don't?

Save Our Whales

It's not often you get a fashion item from the federal government, particularly one that is FREE. You can order these wristbands online. Your tax money at work.