Monday, December 31, 2007


I'm not one to indulge in the tradition of setting resolutions to be achieved in the forthcoming year, but I can't help myself this year - albeit a little early.

skribe's top ten things to do in 2008:

1. Get laid (again)
2. Get monumentally rich
3. Achieve world domination (again)
4. Speak unaccented anything including English
5. Not die (this really should have been number 1)
6. Do 6 impossible things before breakfast each day - maybe more.
7. Breed (again)
8. Meet myself and not lose a fight this time.
9. ??
10. Profit!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Mothering Milestones # 782628

Today I bought JOOB his first ever kid's value meal at Unnamed Fast Food Restaurant. I even went back to the counter to demand the stupid dinky freebie toy that was supposed to be in the box.

When did I even care about this? Arrrgh.

For the record: JOOB ate half his chips, spilled the rest, nibbled some burger meat and bits of bun, slurped some juice and tried to throw the cup away, and emptied out the box to use as a garage for his toy car.

Oh, the collectible toy ended up in my bag, unopened.

Monday, December 24, 2007

JOOB: Sit Up Comedian

The cat walks into the room.

"What's that?" prompts Skribe.

"Cat!" announces JOOB.

Whoo. This is the boy for whom all things are "cat" so I'm somewhat nonplussed. "That's like asking a dog what you find on top of a house," I say. "Roof."

"Hey, JOOB," Skribe turns to our boy. "What do you find on top of a house?"

And the boy answers, "Oof!"

Without. Missing. A. Beat.

This kid's going to be trouble :)

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

All Is Cat

Language is instinctive, apparently. One of our most primitive urges is to first put names to things, and then to actions, and then to put them together in meaningful patterns.

Unless we're talking about JOOB, who's decided that it would be far more efficient and interesting to distill the English language down to about a dozen words and sound effects.

All things are "cat". Milk, biscuits, dinner, teddy bears, books, nappies, hats, shoes, aeroplanes, buses, cars, spoons, cups, seagulls, other babies... all of them are described as "cat". (Except grown-ups and himself, who are "Dadda"; and dogs, who are "oof oof".)

Things moving forward go "brrm brrm". Things going backwards go "Deh. Deh. Deh. Deh". Flying things go "ooooom" (flap arms). Really big trucks go "ah ooh ah ooh ah ooh", or should, because he clearly feels all big trucks ought to have sirens.

"Hi" is the sum of his conversation with other people. "Uh-oh" is when he throws something away, or drops it, or turns it upside down, or when bumps his head on the floor.

Twenty months old, and already determined to rationalise words his way.

Sunday, December 02, 2007


Brendan Nelson : Lorem ipsum dolor
-- Helen Razer, explaining that Nelson is the placeholder leader

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Overheard On The Bus

Mum playing happily with toddler.

Mum: "Where Nanna? Where nanna?"
Little girl points at another passenger.
Mum: "No, that not Nanna. Nanna not here. Where Blake? Where Blake?"
Little girl looks around.
Mum: "Blake not here. Blake gone. Blake at school. Where Mum? Where Mum?"
Little girl points to her mother.
Mum: "That's right. Mum here. Where Dad? Where Dad?"
Little girl looks around again.
Mum: "Dad not here. Dad in jail. Dad gone. Where Nanna? Where Nanna?"

And repeat.

On the last day of Movember my true love said to me...