Bleah
There we go. Tonight, following a trivial disagreement over dinner and leftovers I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor in the dark sobbing my eyes out.
I can't entirely explain the thought processes that led there - I don't think logic had much to do with it. Lately I'd begun experiencing bouts of tiredness, where I just flop and it takes about ten to fifteen minutes before I can find the energy to get up and do anything again, like take off shoes or put groceries away. I've been easily distracted and somewhat more absent-minded than usual, and unmotivated at work. It's possibly depression, but I don't feel down. Hell, I was racing Skribe down flights of stairs in the city today. I was feeling great.
Then tonight, we have one little spat over what happened to yesterday's freaking salad and I have to sit down somewhere, anywhere, and I can't stop crying, and I just desperately want to be left alone.
Skribe, to his endless credit, managed to comfort an emotionally distressed partner, cook a beautiful dinner, and make bad jokes all at the same time.
The only way I can stop the crying right now is basically to turn off. Anything that might lead to an emotional response - skribe saying he loves me, or my frustration and anger at this damned crying fit, for example - will set me crying again. I can't control it.
I don't care if it's hormones. I don't like this. This feels awful. It feels like something else is driving this body and I'm just a passenger.
3 comments:
Thanks, Ted. I think I'm pretty much back to whatever passes for normal operational parameters for me, it's just knowing that Bub will probably spin me out again, but not knowing what (if anything) might set off the next crying fit. Anyway, this goes on to the increasingly long list of complaints for bashing his ear with whenever the brat shows signs of ingratitude :)
ah welcome to the world of child-servent: as in you are now the servent of that superior being in your belly :)
My wife and I went through this twice, and each time we knew what was happening and why, but couldn't do a thing about it. She reckons it's the baby training the parents :)
I knew it was coming. Reassuring TP that this was normal and expected during the 'event' was quite another matter.
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