10 Things I Learned From "Chopper" Read

1. The greatest living artist in Australia today, besides himself, is Adam Cullen, who will be remembered as the next Sidney Nolan


2. Sidney Nolan himself, on the other hand, can go get fucked


3. The arts community needs him like tits on a bull.


4. He can't draw, but he knows his paintings will go up a thousand percent when he dies, so he keeps painting.


5. Ian Thorpe and James Packer are faggots.


6. It must be true because he said so on 6PR and didn't get sued.


7. He doesn't like faggots, or being associated in any way with them.


8. He does not like being called the 2nd Ned Kelly, because Ned Kelly was a poofter.


9. But he likes to quote Ned's motto:
   "You cannot choose your battlefields -
   God will do that for you.
   But you can plant your flag
   Where no flag ever flew."


10. His other favourite motto is: Never plead guilty.