Saturday, July 01, 2006

Twelve Weeks After:

JOOB is 12 weeks or 3 months or 1/4 of a year old. It's all a matter of perspective.

A year ago, JOOB was conceived with neither fanfare nor expectation. He made his presence known soon enough, however, and now, as he hurries through his infancy, is wreaking merry havoc with our lives.

Skribe has taken to fathering with all the glee of a hacker who's found the root password. Myself, I have found mothering to be the easiest and most frightening thing I have ever done. Even though it's mostly just common sense and a lot of patience, there are still many occasions when the frustration and fatigue lead you to doubt and regret.

Sometimes when I reminisce about the months when he was a bump in my belly, I think what I really miss is the feeling that somehow the future was still "contained", still safe. Now that he's out, and trying with all his might to crawl and creep and turn over, the future seems to fill up with perils real and imagined. As he explores his ever-widening world he is shovelling every new experience into his mouth and grasping for more. And while we will do everything we can, we can't protect him from everything.

Nor should we. That's the hard part. You just teach him what you know, and hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

When your child gazes back at you - curious and intent - you wonder what he sees, what he thinks. There's a part of you that wants him never to change, but of course he will. He's growing up. Even within these first few months of his life he has developed and learnt so much. His impatience is infectious.

Every minute I am with him, I miss the child he was and I look forward to meeting the child he will become. It's a strange place to be, and I suspect we will be here a long time.

1 comment:

CW said...

Congrats :) Before you know it he'll be wanting to borrow the car...