What ToxicPurity Learned This Week

1. That parenting classes should come with a warning. You may think you have an idea what you're in for, but you don't, you really don't, until that first class when the midwife cheerfully and graphically demonstrates the birth process to you, such as just how big a 10cm dilated cervix really is, and how long it'll take you to achieve that. But also "Don't worry, we won't let you go into labour for more than twenty-four hours". Painkillers won't be discussed until Lesson 3.


2. That lots of heartburn during pregnancy means Bub will have lots of hair, according to a Hungarian woman's lore. And that because I have small tits, I'll probably be more likely to be able to breastfeed Bub, unlike more generously-endowed women, according to the same Hungarian woman's experience.


3. That educating a child born this year will cost about $250,000 all up. Apart from school fees and associated costs such as books, shoes, uniforms, and extra-curricular activites, this also assumes private tuition, laptops, IPods, Nike sports gear and personal organisers, according to Channel 9's breakfast show anyway.


4. That before Milli Vanilli, there was Boney M. Same music producer, same lip-synching schtick, and yet... and yet. Well, there goes a part of my childhood.


5. That this month marks the 50th anniversary of the first publication of The Third Eye, by T. Lobsang Rampa, otherwise known as Cyril Henry Hoskins. My then boyfriend really bought into the whole Rampa mythos. Probably still does. Some lies are so beautiful you never want to give them up.