50 reasons NOT to move to Perth

Keet and Deanna have posted 50 reasons to move to Perth. So I feel it is only responsible to post a retort. So here is 50 reasons NOT to move to Perth:

1. It is the most isolated capital city in the world.
2. Because it's so isolated it takes ages to go anywhere else.
3. The shops shut at 5.30pm. Some earlier.
4. It is full of whinging poms (Brits) that complain about how bad life is in Perth but still won't leave.
5. We're getting electricity real soon now.
6. Everything costs more because of the extra transport costs.
7. Stinking hot summers can last nine months.
8. Water restrictions.
9. Hole in the ozone layer.
10. Melanomas.
11. It takes five minutes to walk from one end to the other of Perth's night life district.
12. Hardcore porn is illegal.
13. Prostitution is illegal.
14. No nightlife + no porn + no prostitution = boredom.
15. Ripping your own CDs/DVDs is illegal.
16. Recording/time-shifting television shows is illegal.
17. ergo ipods and VCR/Tivos are illegal.
18. no Tivo.
19. IP laws are governed by US laws (under the Free Trade Agreement).
20. 20,000 Singaporeans - okay that's actually not bad but fellatio is illegal in Singapore. It could happen here.
21. Perthites spend too much time talking and thinking about sex.
22. Most Perthites are virgins.
23. The word Perthite - it sounds like a mineral sand.
24. Part of the Coalition of the Willing.
25. Most Perthites believe Indonesia is secretly massing troops and about to invade.
26. Flies.
27. Mosquitos.
28. Overhead powerlines - what use are they without electricity?
29. Public transport is dismal.
30. It is worse the further you get away from the CBD.
31. 45 degrees Celsius summers.
32. Only five REAL tv stations.
33. Access 31.
34. Last good concert venue about to shut down.
35. Big name acts never come to Perth anyway.
36. When they do come the cheapest tickets cost over $100 each.
37. Cinema tickets are a bargain at $17 each - $50 for La Premiere.
38. Delayed telecast LIVE tv.
39. West Coast Eagles.
40. Secret location of alien mutation fungus.
41. Redbacks, sharks and poisonous snakes don't kill many tourists so Perth is always full of them.
42. Whitford City Shopping Centre.
43. Strine.
44. Lawns are brown.
45. Nuclear target.
46. Perthites are an apathetic bunch.
47. Two hours behind rest of Australia.
48. 3 hours behind the rest of Australia during summer.
49. Favourite sport takes five days to play.
50. I live here