The Spirit of Giving (What They Deserve)

I always thought the best present to give to the Christian of your acquaintance - particularly at Xmas time - was a cheque to the charity of your choice MADE OUT IN THEIR NAME. It makes you look good, some deserving charity gets some money, and you have just made the Christian of your acquaintance feel completely shitty. Watch them squirm as they thank you for the generosity of your gift, while the guilt and doubt eats them up on the inside.

Better yet, do it to the child of a Christian of your acquaintance, after promising them that your present is way better than an X-box, mobile phone, or scooter, and teach them a lesson they won't forget about the key doctrines of their own religion: humility, poverty, and charity.

If you're not into the poetic-justice school of gift-giving, and just want to feel good without stepping on anyone's toes, not even a hypocrite's, you could always buy someone a bucket. Or buy a goat (US$60) or a buffalo ($250), or better yet, for a percentage of the cost, buy a share in an animal.

Also, you could Give A Kid A Book. Now, I don't normally like these click-and-feed-a-hungry-child links because being a terribly skeptical and cynical person, I can't possibly see how it could work, and I've seen too many well-meaning people get taken in by hoax emails.

That said: these sites appear legit, won't cost you a penny, and haven't infected my Windows machine with pop-up porn ads. So, do something for yourself. Click on the button, and the sponsor charities will give a book to a needy child.

And if books aren't your thing, they have related charities like Save A Rainforest and Feed An Abandoned Pet and whatnot.

And don't just wait til Xmas to give to feel good about yourself. Remember that the true meaning of 25th December is that it celebrates the birth of the sun, thereby signifying the end of winter and the spiritual start of a new year. So if you're going to do the pressies thing, make 'em count.