Friday, April 01, 2005

The First Day of April

Looks like the weather decided to spring an April Fool's all of its own: SURPRISE! IT'S WINTER! Ha bloody ha ha.

To commemorate this giddy day, here's a list of the 10 worst April Fool's jokes ever pulled. Not "worst" as in "inept", but as in "inappropriate" to put it politely.

1. (1998) Uday Hussein's newspaper claims then US President Clinton will lift sanctions against Iraq. The following year, it claimed that food rations would include bananas, Pepsi and chocolate.

2. (2000) Romanian newspaper claims prisoners will be released from a remote prison, only to reveal it was all a joke.

3. Informing your vacationing co-worker the deadline for his big report's due early, and working him into such a state of panic and ill health he's forced to take early retirement, and then you tell him it was just a joke.

4. Tying a dead dog to your co-worker's car without their knowledge, and letting them happily drive for miles and miles with dead dog dragging to the horror of other motorists.

5. Pissed off with your ex? Try traumatising her with the belief that she's caused your suicide.

6. Call your boss (who's at home) and tell him armed men are robbing the shop!

7. (1996) A Russian news agency reported that the Russian parliament was debating reviving the Warsaw pact, causing panic in the affected countries.

8. (1986) Israeli Radio reported the assassination of a prominent Shi'ite leader, causing tensions in the region to flare up.

9. (1999) DJs announced to their horrified listeners that the local dam had burst. Remembering the floods of the previous year, terrified homeowners fled the area.

10. (2003) "The Americans have accidentally fired a nuclear missile into British forces, killing seven." - The Iaqi Ambassador to Russia, to a press conference in Moscow, as US-led Coalition forces were storming into Iraq.

April Fools! Hoo boy, those Iraqis.

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