The rain tumbles down

The rain tumbles down,
scattering the reflections.
I am going home.

Radar map of storm

This is the radar map of the storm at around 7am this morning.

Pretty!

"WHY AREN'T YOU COMING TO PERTH YOU C***?"

Quoth the irate Perth fan to Neil Gaiman, upon learning the author's forthcoming Asia/Pacific tour stops.

Whoever you are, Irate Perth Fan, you expressed my sentiments exactly, if not eloquently. Mother brought me up too nicely, alas.

Well brought up fellow that he is, the author replied with good grace that his itinerary is scheduled by his publishers and promoters - they point, he goes. He also offered an anecdote by way of apology.

"If it's any consolation, the last time I went to a convention on the Australian mainland it was to go to a Swancon in Perth. And I flew in to Perth, went to the con, then took the four hour flight straight to Sydney to catch a plane home -- where I found myself having to convince an immigration official that I had, of my own free will, flown all the way to Australia in order to spend four days in Perth. This was, I was given to understand, the strangest and most suspicious sort of thing that that particular gentleman had ever encountered..." -- Neil Gaiman

Perth - dangerous and highly suspect. Who knew.

Love Immortalised

Ain't young love sweet.

DFAT warning no joke

In a startling development DFAT's warning that Perth is dangerous at this time of year has been proven true. Just look at these:

Bad day for penises

In the last day we've had two stories come out of the US that involves the blatant denial of penis rights:

• The first to surface was a story about a talking penis being gagged by a three-judge panel of the Michigan Court of Appeals. Dick Smart, as the penis was nicknamed, told jokes on a cable tv station.
• In the second story, manufacturers of the Whizzinator have been subpoenaed by US lawmakers because the Whizzinator can be used to circumvent drug tests.

So lads, it's probably best to keep it in your pants for a while.

Be careful out there.

What did they know?

Two days ago DFAT issued a warning about Perth being dangerous at this time of year. There were lots of humourous articles and stories about the mix up. And then yesterday we get a freeway onramp collapsing.

Coincidence?

Meme: You're the film-maker

If you had access to any amount of money what story would you make a movie of and why?

Gridlock 2

18:30 & still stuck.

ADDENDUM
It took us another half-an-hour to reach the Causeway, which had incoming traffic backed up across it as well. I'm guessing it was a combination of the rain, Friday night rush hour and superstition (Fri 13th) that cause the gridlock. It's the worst I've seen for a while.

ADDENDUM ADDENDUM
A combination of the rain, Friday night rush hour, superstition and a burst water main.

Gridlock

It's 17:30 and Perth ain't moving.

Happy Friday 13th!

Well, I've just spent a happy morning skipping puddles with skribe on the way to work. Maybe May has finally worked out which season it is. Maybe not, considering the sun blazing through the window now.

This past week has had some interesting morning experiences. I've had the great good fortune to witness Tori Amos dribbling throughout her performance on Sunrise, which - if nothing else - proves she wasn't lip-synching. Good to see an artist with real talent and passion on fluffy morning television.

Then there was Derryn Hinch's no-show on the Bert Newton's Advertorial Program. That was worth catching a later bus for.

I noticed, too, that they've replaced the Darth Vader poster on the billboard at Barrack and Wellington, which had been ripped down for the past couple of days. The Revenge of the Disgruntled Fan, perhaps?

And of course this morning also sees a rather soggy protest at the Supreme Court Gardens by the Falun Gong activists. The Anti-Torture Demonstration probably won't go too well. Drip. Drip. Drip. AAAARGGH!

And for those who're finding it hard to concentrate (ahem) on this gloriously damp Friday the 13th, check out this Odd Satellite Map Image from Google. You can move around the map and zoom in!

Is it:
A. Alien Landing Strip;
B. Air Force Aerial Bombing Target;
C. Google Copyright Infringement Trap; or
D. Just Another Photoshopped Hoax?

Warning

Perth is so boring that the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade (DFAT) has issued a travel warning declaring that Perth is dangerous at this time of year. Too right, there's simply nothing to do except hunting down and butchering tourists. It may not be right but at least it keeps food on the table.

Meetup

So far I've only embarrassed myself twice.

ADDENDUM Well we're back now and I have to say we had a great time reacquainting ourselves with some new best friends. Sorry about the quality of the pic. From right to left is: Graeme, Richard and Anthony.

Surprise!

Kangaroot

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man who has never been with a woman sexually.

After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.

She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. And after a long-distance courtship, they decide to get married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.

“What happened?” she asks.

“I've never been with a woman,” he says. “But if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo I'm gonna need all the room I can get!”

The Best Friend Effect

One of the side effects of spending hours in a small dark room editing a project (apart from junk food diets, expanding waistlines and vitamin D deficiency) is that after a couple of days I develop a serious empathy with the people in the story. It's like they're life-long friends.

This can lead to some embarrassing situations. I remember that soon after finishing one project I met up with one of the participants and immediately greeted her with "I've just been staring at your ugly face for hours on end." Now, that might be okay with a friend but with a stranger it's pretty confronting. She just stared at me and it took me a moment to make the realisation that while I had thirty hours of 'experience' with her, she only had one hour with me. Fortunately, after I explained she joined in the joke too.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because tonight I'm joining a blog meetup. About six weeks ago we did a story on them and while I finished editing it several weeks ago the best friend effect remains. The reason for that is that while I was editing the story I was also reading their blogs. For the story I mean =). Even after the editing process was completed I found myself returning to them. Most I continue to read daily. So, in a sense I've got a double dose of pseudo-friendship. I know these people. Their mannerisms and body language, as well as their thoughts and beliefs. As a result, I fully expect to make a fool of myself tonight.

Kudos and not

They say that four-wheel drive owners are the scourge of the roads with their bull-bars, fat tyres and their wide girth. For the most part I agree. Especially given that such off-road vehicles never go off-road. Well today I saw a four-wheel drive owner that got off the road quick smart.

The corner of Wellington and Barrack. Traffic is lined up along both streets waiting for the pedestrian traffic-light cycle to complete. Then suddenly, from east along Wellington comes the wail of sirens. People stop and look. Drivers are checking their mirrors. A bunch of pedestrians caught making a diagonal crossing freeze as though caught in headlights. The four-wheel drive owner was in the left-most lane. The only one in that lane as chance would have it. He sussed out the situation quickly, did the math and made the move. Onto the footpath, easily avoiding the gaggle of gob-smacked tourists. Only just in time too. The firefighters gave him a wave and a thankyou as they barely had to slow down. Through the gap the four-wheel driver has left them and whip around the corner - narrowly missing the group of pedestrians that had stopped in the middle of the road.

So kudos to the four-wheel drive owner and a fat kick up the arse to the pedestrians.

Got Sodium Laureth Sulfate?

While researching the Progesterex Mind Virus I came across this mind-virus that I hadn't seen before. Those infected usually show signs of haliotosis and split ends.

Subject: FW: Read this about the shampoo you use

Check the ingredients listed on your shampoo bottle, and see if they have substance by the name of Sodium Laureth Sulfate, or simply SLS. This substance is found in most shampoos, and the manufacturers use it because it produces a lot of foam and it is cheap. BUT the fact is that SLS is used to scrub garage floors, and it is very strong. It is also proven that it can cause cancer in the long run, and this is no joke. I went home and checked my shampoo (Vidal Sasoon); it doesn't contain it; however, others such as Vo5, Palmolive, Paul Mitchell, the new Hemp Shampoo .. contain this substance. The first ingredient listed (which means it is the single most prevalent ingredient) in Clairol's Herbal Essences is Sodium Laureth Sulfate.

So I called one company, and I told them their product contains a substance that will cause people to have cancer. They said,"Yeah, we knew about it but there is nothing we can do about it because we need that substance to produce foam.

By the way Colgate toothpaste also contains the same substance to produce the "bubbles". They said they are going to send me some information. Research has shown that in the 1980s, the chance of getting cancer is 1 out of 8000 and now, in the 1990s, the chances of getting cancer is 1 out of 3, which is very serious. So I hope that you will take this seriously and pass this on to all the people you know, and hopefully, we can stop "giving" ourselves the cancer virus.

This is serious, after you have read this, pass it on to as many people as possible, this is not a chain letter, but it concerns our health.

Personally, I don't use shampoo. I use the real stuff =).

The Progesterex Mind Virus

Yet another mind virus aka email hoax. This time sent to me from a friend who believed that it was real - and subsequently panicking about it. For further details on the hoax check out Snopes, Truth or Fiction or just Google for Progesterex.

Ladies, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a guy. Good guys out there, please forward this message to your lady friends. Andboyfriends,take heed. There is a new drug that has been out for less than a year.

Progesterex,that is a essentially a small steriliziation pill. The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Rumour has it that the Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug. As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl’s drink. The girl can’t remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before.

Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn’t conceive from the rape and the rapist needn’t worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.

The drug’s effects AREN’T TEMPORARY. Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses. Any female that takes it WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE. The crooks can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school of any university.

It’s that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not, there is even a site on the internet telling people how to use it. Please forward this to everyone you know, especially the gals.

ADDENDUM: Seems we've become the top result on searches for Progesterex on Yahoo-Aus/NZ.

Just so there's no doubt PROGESTEREX IS A HOAX. It doesn't exist.

Neil

Here is Neil showing off a prop from the television series BBN, which is a satirical look at the news and current events.

In case you're wondering why I posted this, it's because I was testing photoblogging directly from my phone. Seems it works. Expect more - yes that is a threat.