JOOB's 2nd Birthday Party

I like these Buddhist people. Two years ago, as I was driving home from the hospital after JOOB's birth they put on a fireworks display as I was crossing the causeway. Last year they had a massive party for him that featured lots of food and entertainment - he even got balloons. This year they're doing it again. Details here.

Come join the fun. If you're particularly lucky you may even have the honour of giving JOOB a present. And unusually for a JOOB event entry is free.

Bogan Jet

Is this just the latest performer for the concert season? Maybe it's a new startup airline? Or perhaps it's what you get when bogan white trash meets economic boom? In any case at least Bill & Ted should be happy.

Oh Yeah!

The boy loves his Brownes Banana Chill.

Puff Bubby

What ya lookin' at homey?

HNY

I'm not one to indulge in the tradition of setting resolutions to be achieved in the forthcoming year, but I can't help myself this year - albeit a little early.

skribe's top ten things to do in 2008:

1. Get laid (again)
2. Get monumentally rich
3. Achieve world domination (again)
4. Speak unaccented anything including English
5. Not die (this really should have been number 1)
6. Do 6 impossible things before breakfast each day - maybe more.
7. Breed (again)
8. Meet myself and not lose a fight this time.
9. ??
10. Profit!

Never Smash a WD40 Can

Everyone's just wild about Harry

With news that the last Harry Potter book is due for release in July I thought I'd share this:

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book. Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."

"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok I have found, definitive proof that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all

"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?

Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

-- Found here

...save our gracious Queen

Wouldn't it be great to have a national anthem with a swear word in it? Well, the Poms, always at the sharp end of popular culture, have done it yet again.

Alien Invasion

Saw this sign in Northbridge a few days ago.

Are Perth Drivers the Worst in Australia?

Which One is Eddie?

Or maybe he plays all three.

Horney Lava Lamp

Is this what androids dream of when they run out of sheep?

Close Relations

On our way from Freo to Lesmurdie yesterday we decided to take a journey down memory lane and visit the house where I spent the first nine months of life. It took us a while to find it - I'd only been there once before as an adult and that was twenty years ago.

As I was driving through the back-streets of Beaconsfield it occurred to me that during my childhood both my mother's and father's families all lived within easy walking distance of one another. That's a combined total of eight siblings, two sets of grandparents plus Mum and Dad. All living within a five kilometre diameter. That just seems so weird today. My generation tended to move as far from their relatives as they could while still living in the Perth metro area. TP and her cousins took it a step further and moved to different continents.

We've already begun preparing JOOB for life on Mars.

New TV Series

We're pleased to announce that JOOB has been cast as the title character for this remake of the classic 80s tv series.

Have you been saved?

While walking through the Hay St Mall today with JOOB one of the usual religious nutters that populate the western part made the mistake of trying to preach to me.

"Have you been saved?", he asked faling to hand me a pamphlet.

"Yes I have", I said, "I was heading straight for the net and the fucking goalkeeper got in my way."

I managed to escape while he tried to work that one out.